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Education, Parenting and Respect (2)
How can we be teaching our children that their teachers,
and adults in general, need to earn their respect?!
It's a recipe for disaster, as we all now can see. It just
needs one bad apple to disrupt classes and prevent the pupils
who want to work from learning, and the teachers who want
to teach, to teach. To have many such pupils, must be a
nightmare for the poor teachers!
Too many out of control youngsters, with no guidance, discipline,
self-discipline, respect, or self-respect, running wild
and savage, mad and angry.
Whose fault is this? Not the children's, that's
for sure.
All children need love, care, and...guidance.
Not fractious parents who take no responsibility for them,
nor for their own their lives.
Or, who just give up in despair.
It's
quite simple:
- respect
for authority needs to be re-introduced, with firmer
sanctions for bad, innappropriate behaviour. Exclusions
don't work, for obvious reasons, and certainly don't
help those errant youngers themselves, which is surely
what is the most important thing to do-to correct the
behaviour.
Respect as it should be:
We should all, by right, be given a full “cup”
of respect by everyone, no matter whether adult, child,
or peer, from whatever walk of life, colour, race or
belief system.
Only if or when we "spill" some of it by mistake,
weakness, fragility or foolishness, do we need to earn
it back.
And children should not be trying to test us or the
teachers ! - it is us who should be testing them...in
their school work of course !
Too much testing? No, I say!
How are we as parents, or you as teachers otherwise
going to be able to:
-
judge their progress??
- find
out their weaknesses ??
- An
education system that recognises that not all are equal,
and that at least in Senior Schools, there should be:
-
streaming to keep the bright, brighter and let the
not so bright not feel so dumb, in comparison (we
cannot all be made to be the same!)
- more
"vocational" courses provided for those
not destined for university or careers needing educational
qualifications.
- Apprenticeships
should be re-introduced.
There
is far too much self-centeredness. The "baby boomers",
of which I am one, have been too irresponsible, especially
where it comes to parenting-thinking the child should be
treated as an adult, and that their happiness is more important
than that of their children. What happened to self-sacrifice?
"Super
Nanny" and "BratCamp" are
one remedy for such witless/irresponsible parenting. Unfortunately,
in this case, it's the children or teenagers who have to
suffer the most.
With animal Psychiatrists, a similar solution is offered-it's
the owner who is "corrected" in the upbringing
of, or relating to, their animals.
It's not the animal's fault! The owner just lacks
understanding of the animal or breed. You
cannot relate to an animal properly unless you understand
it.
The same goes for a child, and to do that you have to understand
yourself and remember what it was like to be a child.
ADHD/ADD is a case in point-the
truth needs to be "outed". The problem
is not the child, it is the parents or parent (if single).
To
drug a child with an amphetamine, especially if prolonged,
is akin to child-abuse.
It has to stop!!
Any remedy has to treat the source of the
problem, not the symptom (the
flow of wrong neurotransmitter, or the prevention of the
right chemical going to where it should.
Any prolonged confusion, distress, disorder and/or mixed
messages from parents are potential ADHD triggers.
The parents are the source of the problem.
Of course the parents must be helped in the gentlest
and most sensitive of ways, unless willfully negligent,
and just be given classes in good parenting.
Though all they really need to do is watch Super Nanny and
Brat Camp a few times and they will have learnt all there
is to know:
- All
that's needed is loving care, quality attention, and
boundaries appropriate to their age.
- We
need to teach our children the right and best way possible,
with regulations and through inspiration-quality interaction.
- Not
give them too much power before they are ready to use
it.
-
Not allow a child to take control of the household,
or get the upper hand for any length of time- we have
to be one step ahead, always, don't we?
I
just don't know - I've seen too many (mostly mothers, it
has to be said) who have lost control of even three and
four year olds, never mind 6's or 7's.
We don't even need to endure the "Terrible Twos",
if we know how to stop a tantrum.
Again, it's easy - just make a great show of enthusiasm..."come
and look at this!!" (wonderful game, toy, activity,
animal/bird/ flower) (whatever you can think of that will
get their attention). It works, I can assure you.
Just distract them enough, out of their present paroxysm.
It need only be for a short time. And each time we see one
about to happen, get the toddler to leave whatever is causing
this upset, using the same technique as above, (though less
forced enthusiasm will be necessary) and it will not happen!
Manners,
Shame and Responsibilty >
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Please realise that this website has been rushed in order
to get it "out there" asap...
...some editing is still needed
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